Knowing who you want to be and getting there can seem like an insurmountable task, even if the steps to take are very clear. Attaining goals sometimes takes the help of a coach - a life coach - who helps one to realize the reason behind their dreams and goals, empowering them to attain what can essentially be called their "higher self."
Kim Avery, a certified life coach for four years, says life coaching starts with where someone is right now and then skips ahead and envisions their ideal future, where they would like to be, who they would like to be, and what they want to be doing.
"And so once they get their dreams and their goals settled in their minds, coaching is what helps them bridge the gap from here to their ideal future," Avery says.
A trained therapist with 20 years' experience and a master's degree in mental health counseling, Avery says traditional counseling looks back at past difficulties or events in a person's life, trying to integrate those and see affects on the present. However, life coaching is future-based. Clients come to Avery in need of help achieving a goal, such as losing weight, making career changes, bettering relationships, or becoming a better parent.
Avery, 50, a Winter Haven resident who is certified by the International Coach Federation, says if someone comes to her with the goal of losing weight, the client typically already knows what they need to do to lose the extra pounds, but they simply haven't been able to get it done for reasons she helps them address.
"Instead (of defining how to lose weight), we skip that step and we say, 'OK, why do you want to lose weight, what will that get you, how will you walk, how will you talk, what will you wear?'" she says. "This really engrains in them all the powerful reasons as to why their dream is their dream."
The job of the coach is to ask powerful questions to help the client really explore and discover what will help them change and motivate themselves so that they design their own route for change.
"So, when going through the process and obstacles come, they're willing to persevere and stick with it because they realize how powerful their dreams are," she says.
Lori Rosen, a life coach in Lakeland, says she appreciates the philosophy of coaching, which is not pathology-based, like psychotherapy, which deals with malfunctions and dysfunctions in a person's life.
"People come wanting to better their lives; they have wellness goals," Rosen, 45, says.
"It's usually lifestyle goals that they come to me with. We assess their agenda and we would work out a step life plan for them to reach their goal, and there's accountability along the way," Rosen says.
The accountability portion is another very large aspect to life coaching. Rosen says the client typically leaves with an action step plan. When they call or come in to see her again, she asks them if the plan was followed.
Avery, who has two life coaching businesses, including one solely for Christian women, agrees that coaching in and of itself is accountability; clients are more likely to follow the plan simply knowing somebody's going to ask, which prevents the client from languishing along the path they're following.
"That way you don't get someone who is stuck or not moving along toward their goal," Rosen says. "That's what they're depending on me to do, is to move them along from A to B."
In addition to asking the clients what they achieved, Avery also asks what the client didn't do and what they will work on.
Both Avery and Rosen agree when working out a plan, even if the goal is the same, one size does not fit all. Rosen says a person's distinctive character plays a big role in their success.
"Depending upon your unique personality traits, I would structure the action steps differently," Rosen says. Oftentimes having somebody else's perspective helps a client tremendously.
"One of the things I tell people is that perspective is reality, there's no true reality, it's what your perspective is on it," Rosen says. "Situations are myriad and sometimes all it takes is for a person to see (a situation) in a fresh way and if you're too close to it, you cannot."
Avery says in the discouragement of life, even with a coach, clients sometimes think their goals aren't worth all the trouble and they express giving up.
"But I know that they can (achieve their goals), and so I will be right by their side, not just empowering and equipping them, but also cheering for them," Avery says. "What I like to tell my clients is that I'm going to hold their dreams for them even when they want to give up on them."
Avery says what attracted her to life coaching was the ripple effect it has.
"When (clients) change, it changes their family, it changes their work environment, it changes their parenting," Avery says. "If I'm able to help one person be who they want to be, it has this ripple effect. An effect that empowers everybody in their life, too, it's a very powerful thing."
This positivity can extend to the coach's life as well. Avery says she often ends the day with more energy than with what she began.
"It's wonderful to see people move into who and what they can be," Avery says.
Rosen echoes Avery's sentiments about observing positive change happening.
"It's amazing," Rosen says. "It's an honor to witness someone doing that kind of self-work. I'm honored that I'm in their presence when they're having insights and breakthroughs and things are becoming easier and clearer and they can experience their reality at the highest level."
For details on life coaching, contact Kim Avery at Kim@CareerBuildersPlus.com or 863-326-6215. To contact Lori Rosen, call 863-602-2605.
